Top 5 Stupid Things Men Say to Women at a Sports Bar

I realize that men say stupid things to other men at sports bars as well. These are football specific.

1. Have you watched all the Auburn games this year?
Actually, I'm just at the bar with my Auburn friend. He's wearing a white shirt, not indicative of his allegiance. Meanwhile, I'm wearing a UCLA blue shirt, and a UCLA yellow hoodie. It's apparently okay to skip wearing a college t-shirt if you're a man, but if you're a woman, you should probably be wearing a team sweatshirt, hat, and watch. Otherwise you're just here because your guy friend is here.

2. I don't really watch Pac 10 games, they come on too late.
Okay, so you also don't read any sports periodicals, the Coaches' Poll, or any blogs or ESPN online, and have no clue that our teams are good? Didn't hear about the USC-Oregon State game from Thursday? I don't tend to focus on games other than mine and the game of the week, but... I definitely know how to read, and thus I see the other scores scrolling beneath my game every week at the very least.

3. It's a rebuilding year; it was a moral victory you lost by only five points.
Look, of course we're not going to be good this year, I get that. However, I completely reject the notion of moral victories. My team lost and it's okay for me to be disappointed when they do. For some of us, Satuday's game is what we look forward to all week. You're telling me no male ever gets pissed when his team loses a winnable game? Fumbling on the Fresno State 10 with about 4 minutes left and blowing a chance to win SUCKS.

4. You guys are a basketball school, why do you even care about football?
Yes, we've been to the final four the last three years, we are a top basketball school. Got it. I also enjoy watching college football, and expect my team to emerge as a dominant Pac 10 football presence in the next few years. UCLA can and will be good in both. Even if we went out there and got blown out every Saturday, you can bet I'd watch it. Being good at basketball doesn't preclude me from cheering for our football team.

5. I will get out of your seat when you ask politely.
You have got to be kidding me. You're telling me when you sit in a dude's seat at the bar and he comes back and asks you to move, it's okay, but a woman needs to polite it up with please, thank you, and sir? Get out of the bar, remove whatever is up your butt, and act like a normal person. No reason for you to feel threatened by a woman in a sports bar and try to revert to the patriarchy.

Airport Blogging: McCain is a Pathological Liar

No longer just the opinion of bloggers, seems like everyday McCain or his staff tells another whopper. Who is running the show there? He has gone from fiercely against regulation to a fan of stronger regulation in the course of two days! This man will say anything to win. I hope that voters can see this, can see through his lies. We are doomed if he is elected our President.

My guess is a man doesn't change his stripes like this, at his age, unless something is going on upstairs. I fear the man is in early stages of dementia. It is preposterous that he hasn't released a psychological evaluation. Am I the only one who seems the symptoms? The easily riled up anger? The changing of stories and covering up of gaffes related first to his memory and then to his short term memory. The confusion and the rash, uncharacteristic decisions made. Get the man medical attention. It's clear his campaign will do anything to avoid that, but doesn't Cindy McCain care about the health of her husband?
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Metro Blogging; Economy Collapses and Conservatives Donate to California Proposition Battle

The Secretary of the Treasury, Federal Reserve Chair, and head of the Federal Reserve in NY are taking this weekend to plot out a way to save our economy (and likely the global economy) from collapse. Hoping investor confidence alone will do it, they're going to bet the farm on a series of moves that are questionable at best. The more details that emerge, the more outrageous the plan seems. I'm happy to pay taxes that pay for universal healthcare or Social Security for elder Americans. Why my taxes will instead be used to bail out companies who weren't properly regulated and auto companies whose executives deny the existence of global warming is unclear. This is a screw up of the highest order. And it's only getting worse.

On the other side of the country, polling on the proposition that would reverse the right for gays to marry in Cali has been positive for the side that doesn't tell others how to live. So conservatives, primarily the Mormon church, are sending in money by the boatload to support the measure. With so few weeks left until the election, this is a crucial campaign issue to watch.
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Metro Blogging: Depression?

Just got a NY Times news alert that the government is buying an 80% stake in AIG and giving it $85 million. Will this be the last wave of bad news? I doubt it.
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Doctor's Office Blogging: McCain is a Liar

McCain's latest ad -- an absolutely absurd piece that claims Obama funded sex ed for kids in kindergarden -- is so packed full of lies that I wonder if there is one person in America for whom this ad passes the smell test. Like the father of two young girls would do that. Makes me think he had absolutely no hand in raising his own kids if he thinks parents would let that fly. No wonder he can't define honor. Every word out of his mouth is a lie.
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East Coast Blogging: Sports

There is something very important I want to address: being an East Coast fan of West Coast sports teams.

My life is constantly interrupted by my love of sports. I just received a text message that the 49ers have tied up their football game at 10 all with 1:56 left in the second quarter.

There are two main problems with living on the East Coast during football and basketball season (pro and college):

1. Games start so late during the week
2. Access to games is minimal

The first problem I'd like to gripe about is watching games, period. If a UCLA basketball game starts at 7:30 PST, I'm looking at a 12:30 EST or later bed time on the East Coast. I could swing that when I was 25, but I have a real job now, and it's a bit of a problem. See below for more on being able to watch the game at home, but many of those games are not televised on a channel I can watch at home so...off to the bar. Nothing like staying out drinking until 12:30 for an early January game on a Thursday night.

Last Monday, I stayed up until midnight watching UCLA's unbelievable overtime victory over Tennessee. It was fantastic. However, pretty much the next day I managed to get some sort of summer flu, and I missed several days of work. Hmm...think getting sick had anything to do with staying up late? You bet.

During the college basketball tournament, this becomes a huge problem. Games run late and before you know it, it's midnight, your game is at half time, and you're so amped up that even when you do get to bed, you can't fall asleep for hours from all the adrenaline.

For a while, I tried going to bed early and waking up early to watch my game. Please. I never managed once to get up. I can watch a game if I already know what happens, but being a sports fan, why would I want to unless it was absolutely necessary?

And access to these games is even more miserable.

For NFL games, one can purchase a DirecTV package to follow one team. I suppose if I wanted to follow two teams, I could buy two. For college sports however, the best this UCLA fan can do is buy access to the radio commentary of games, and hope the games are broadcast on the bar sports package plan every week. There is some law against colleges broadcasting all their games online (something with amateur athletes not being able to make a profit), and lord knows the Pac-10 television sports contract with Fox Sports doesn't do a thing to fill in all the gaps. If I get lucky and a game is on CBS, I can buy the right to watch it online for 10 bucks. Those games are few and far between.

Once when UCLA was in the top 10 in college football, I had to listen to the game at home on Internet radio (the aforementioned UCLA CSTV school sports plan). Wasn't a big game nationally, even though they were top ten. Game wasn't shown on FSP.

I'm not going to give up on sports, and I don't think I'll be leaving the East Coast for a while, so I've had to get used to it. I just find myself in complete envy of fans of East Coast teams. They have it so good.

Palin Blogging: Campaigning Basics

The fuss about Governor Palin not speaking with the media is really irritating. Jill Miller Zimon nails this subject in her post "FRAGILE! McCain campaign handles Palin's exposure with care...and sexism":

The McCain campaign is so afraid that she might make a mistake that they’ll keep her out of the voters’ view for at least fourteen days - when there’s only 60 days left for voters to choose.

She goes on to quote various sources who all point to sexism -- the McCain campaign doesn't think Palin is ready to face questioning, so they're ducking behind the idea that the media isn't being respectful, and sending her up to Alaska to study for her first interview with ABC's Charles Gibson. They make frequent reference to her learning at the feet of a foreign policy expert, and John McCain tries to tell the media in his interviews that she is qualified on that front because she commanded the Alaska National Guard.

Call a spade a spade. She knows nothing about foreign policy and she is going to be learning it this week. I have no doubt she will come out swinging, as much as I disagree with pretty much all of her views, she'll probably have several one liners about her views, with the talking points to back them up.

It's just sad. Again, I won't agree with one thing she says, but is she really a fool like Dan Quayle was perceived -- no. It's as if McCain is her dad. He's acting like he needs to protect her from the big bad wolves when the woman can take care of herself. His staff is becoming defensive when asked about it, lashing out and making excuses for a woman who doesn't need them.

Regardless, when she is finally allowed to do an interview and air her newly formed views, I look forward to picking each one apart.

Lunch Blogging: Unrest

Over the past few days I have noticed my progressive friends going out of their minds regarding Gov. Sarah Palin, the GOP nominee for vice president. I've tried to remain calm. Moms I know keep saying she's a bad mother. Republicans I know keep calling her "hawt".

In times like these, it's important to stay away from sweeping generalizations. She has been a part of or responsible for a lot of bad policies or laws. Not everything she touches is going to be anti-woman or anti-polar bear. There are no absolutes. I am convinced after looking at her record that she's not getting my vote, but some people don't know enough about her yet to make that decision. Just because your cousin's wife's friend who is a lifelong Dem thinks she's great, that doesn't mean she'll vote GOP come November.

Let's just take a step back and focus on what she's done. The media would have you believe her nomination means a lot of things are inevitable, but it's not true. Women will find out she is against abortion even in cases of rape and incest. People will hear how she sued so that she wouldn't have to protect polar bears. Let's pull back on the personal attacks and focus on all the real reasons she wouldn't be a good VP.

Things are not as dire as the media would have you believe.
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McCain's Foreign Policy Isn't Stellar

Senator John McCain has promoted himself as a foreign policy genius. However, a quick perusal of his record suggests he is lacking in some essential qualities necessary for an international leader. In fact, he's erratic and doesn't appear to consider much other than his gut feeling on matters that require a great deal of understanding and caution. Some examples:

1. Iraq: In the aftermath of 9/11, McCain was focused on Iraq. This is in line with Bush Administration thinking, but McCain claims to be a "maverick". Many on the left cried foul when the pursuit of Osama Bin Laden led to a war against Al Qaeda in Iraq, primarily because it was never established there was a strong AQ presence in the country.

2. Georgia: A person with foreign policy knowledge could have easily predicted a military confrontation was brewing between Russia and Georgia ahead of time, and distanced himself from Georgia before it got the idea the US would be its protector. Senator McCain, however, signaled to Georgia that our fortunes were linked to theirs, when even President Bush was silent. McCain gave a speech saying "We are all Georgians". This was such a gross overreaction to the situation, a heightening of hostilities in a battle we shouldn't have been involved in, that most called it what it was: hysterical. A hysterical reaction.

3. The Czech Republic & Slovakia: Earlier this summer, Senator McCain twice referred to 15 years gone Czechoslovakia in speeches. A sign, perhaps, that McCain is still living in a Cold War kind of world?

4. North Korea: McCain called North Korea "the greatest challenge to U.S. security and world stability today". His views toward them don't seem to have changed over the past 14 years since his 1994 declaration that war with North Korea was inevitable. The New Republic argued in May of this year that McCain's "saber rattling" was doing nothing but aggravating important relationships the US has with countries involved in the North Korea nuclear talks such as China.

Senator McCain always wants to take it up a notch, is hysterical when conflict arises, and makes most of his decisions from "his gut". If there was evidence McCain had a good grasp of the foreign policy implications of US actions, or evidence McCain understood the situations and could make a rational decision from his gut, that would be fine. However, McCain repeatedly demonstrates he is more interested in being decisive than being rational. The last thing the US needs is another cowboy getting us involved in battles where we don't belong. Having experience doesn't mean much if it means you make bad decisions. I would take experts and an informed reaction over obviously flawed experience any day.

Grief and Transactional Memory, Courtesy of The Tipping Point

I find that I read things with new eyes now that my dad is gone. A book that I am reading again for new information is Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping Point. This book is not about grief, but it does touch on grief felt in divorces or at the loss of a family member in its fifth chapter on the power of context. In it, Gladwell explores the term "transactive memory". He notes that much of what we remember isn't actual numbers or specific details, but where to find that information when we need it (such as email addresses in our contact list at work, or our atlas for the capital of Puerto Rico). This information isn't just stored in books and computers, it is also stored in people.

Transactive memory is part of what intimacy means. In fact, Wegner argues, it is the loss of the kind of joint intimacy that helps to make divorce so painful. "Divorced people who suffer depression and complain of cognitive dysfunction may be expressing the loss of their external memory systems," he writes. "They once were able to discuss their experiences to reach a shared understanding...They could once count on access to a wide range of storage in their partner, and this, too, is gone...The loss of transactive memory feels like losing a part of one's own mind."

In a family, this process of memory sharing is more pronounced.

My dad was my go-to guy when it came to sports facts. I remember talking to him about UCLA's quarterback Cade McNown, and my father pulling out a random fact about former UCLA QB Troy Aikman that completely set my mind at ease. That is one thing I now find myself seeking out in others.

It's not just sports facts though, it is business acumen, stock trading, financial planning, communication tactics, and a whole host of other things that I run into every single day.

Transactive memory explains the loss perfectly.

Palin Blogging: Creationism

Let's talk politics. There are so many policies that Alaska Governor Sarah Palin has espoused that are fundamentally flawed, it's almost too hard to start writing about them. However, they need to be written about because they are the reasons why American women shouldn't vote for her.

A more comprehensive list is here.

Creationism, and its cousin Intelligent Design, are two dicey subjects that most people won't touch for fear of causing offense. I will tread lightly, but talking these subjects out is the only way we'll ever reach a resolution.

I actually think there is a place for creationism to be taught in schools -- in history classes. I learned about several different major religions in my freshman history class, including Hinduism, Buddhism, and Christianity. I do not, however, think it belongs in science class. It's not science.

Christianity (and thus Creationism) is a major, major part of Western civilization. I learned about it in political theory classes in college, in history classes in high school, and probably in many other places outside of school. It can and should be discussed when talking about the American revolution, when talking about philosophy, and even when talking about literature.

Science and religious views can co-exist pretty happily in America. Why push something into a science class when there is as of yet no proof it is true? Why politicize our kids' science classes? It's unnecessary, too. If parents have educated their kids according to their religious views, then the child, upon hearing of evolution, will just assume that was how (G)god planned it. The kids who aren't Christian, or who believe in other religions, won't take it as proof there isn't a Christian god. Why the story of Adam and Eve should be discussed alongside Darwin's theory of evolution is beyond me. Keep them separate and have parents teach their kids what they want them to know. It's crazy to have one religious group deciding it in one town, another in a different town, so kids all know something different.

Separation of church and state should apply to public schools too. Our country was founded on that principle. Many of the men were Christians of those who signed the Declaration of Independence, and they had a good reason for cutting religion out of public life.

Their reason was they didn't want any one religion foisted on Americans, as many of them had escaped religious persecution in their home countries. It's important that we don't lose sight of that truth as we struggle to find our own truth. Framing public school curriculum in religion goes against what our founders wanted. They knew better than to involve religious views in the public sector because it can too easily be abused.

How?

Below are a few religious views I think would make most folks nervous about what their kids were learning. Beliefs that are not universal:

1. Reincarnation, a core belief of many Buddhists and in Hinduism
2. Allah created man from a clot of blood, a belief of Islam
3. Birth and death are illusions, and sickness results from fear, illness, or sin ( From Christian Scientists, Not Scientology)

In essence, I'm saying you never know what can be inserted as "fact" and called "religion" in the future. I don't mean to pick on any specific religions, you could find questionable beliefs in nearly any religion that wasn't your own. Clearly people should be allowed to believe and worship as they please, as long as they don't harm others or interfere in non-believers lives. But children in our publicly-funded schools should be taught facts.

Arcade Fire -- Funeral vs. Neon Bible

Arcade actually has an EP that came out before either of their two critically acclaimed albums, but it has few songs that aren't available on other albums. One that is unique is "My Heart is An Apple" -- weird, but great song. Cold Wind is my favorite Arcade Fire song.

I haven't been able to make up my mind about which of the last two albums I prefer. Funeral is so good to listen to in one sitting, whereas Neon Bible I have songs I love to death, but others I routinely skip. Which is more important -- passionate love for a few songs, or a high opinion of the whole album?

Many call Funeral a masterpiece. It's hard to disagree, almost every song is fantastic: Neighborhood #1, Neighborhood #2, Neighborhood #3, Une Annee Sans Lumiere, Crown of Love, Wake Up, and Rebellion (Lies). Neon Bible's stand outs aren't as numerous: Keep the Car Running, Intervention, Ocean of Noise, The Well and the Lighthouse, and No Cars Go.

Maybe it's not possible to choose based on just number alone. Funeral also has a storyline, at least for the first half of the album. And it truly is an album I could listen to over and over. I get Arcade Fire'd out repeating Neon Bible in the same manner. I find myself skipping songs and repeating the songs I like a lot.

Sick blogging: Governor Palin is a great woman, but I'm still not going to vote for her

Having dreamed of being old enough to vote for a woman on a Presidential ticket for decades, I really never dreamed it would go down quite like this.

Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is on the Republican ticket as the VP nominee. Is she a bad person? Absolutely not. There is plenty I admire in Governor Palin. First of all, she's a working mother. It's hard enough to do that with one kid or two, let alone five as she has. She went back to work three days after having her fifth. Some people use that as ammunition against her, but I don't. I think it's really something that she is that dedicated to her job. After all, being the Governor is an enormous responsibility.

Second, I really identify with her feisty, one of the boys attitude. I've been "that girl" my whole life as well. I can picture her at her kid's sports matches, cheering, as well as out hunting. It's not just for men, and she's now shown a new generation of young women that it's not even hanging with the boys anymore, it's normal. Moms care about their kids' grades and sports aptitude. She used to be a sports reporter! How cool is that?

These two things really made me like Governor Palin. I am a Democrat and knew that I didn't agree with her on policy matters, but was still curious about her background.

She served on a small city council for four years, and then was mayor of that town for six additional years. Then she was appointed to an oil and gas commission and went on to serve two years as governor of Alaska.

I understood that Wasilla was small because of its population -- now below 10,000 -- but apparently it is the fourth largest city in Alaska. There are five city council members, a deputy mayor, and mayor. The Alaska Oil and Gas Commission position sends up some red flags for me. It is responsible for managing all of Alaska's private and state-owned oil and gas, as the name implies. It is a three member panel, and Palin was appointed to represent the Public.

She attended the University of Idaho (woo hoo!) and graduated with a major in Communications-Journalism, and a minor in political science.

There are several years missing in there, where I guess she was a sports reporter. It's not really clear at this point.

Many folks have said Governor Palin is not qualified to be Vice President of the United States. I would have to agree. Her resume is pretty thin. By contrast, Senator Barack Obama, the Democratic nominee for President, has 8 years experience as a State Legislator, two in the U.S. Senate, three years experience community organizing, a law degree which took three years, 11 years with a civil rights law firm, and he's authored two books. The Democratic VP nominee has served in the US Senate since 1972 (!!!!). And John McCain is as old as Moses and has possibly been in the Senate since The Great Compromise of 1787, though he doesn't have any executive experience.

I assume the time unaccounted for could be the time she spent raising her kids. And that's fair, and it's unfair for anyone to say that the time she spent doing that doesn't count for anything. It certainly adds to her perspective in a unique and valuable way. I've heard rumblings that she was on the PTA. From what I know of the PTA, cutting your chops there does give you an edge in battling city councils and other governing board. But I don't think it's enough, as much as I want it to be. And it irks me that Governor Palin, who I want to like, was put up for this post too early. In four years she could've really accomplished some things as Governor. She could run for Senate or do other things to give her the necessary experience for this position.

I think she's a good person. I don't agree with anything she stands for, pretty much, but I can respect that she has her opinions and views and has stuck to them. I can't help but wonder why Senator McCain would've nominated her. I suspect it was because she was a woman. I hate to be a token, and I hate to see a woman like Governor Palin be a token. There are plenty of women with extensive experience McCain could've gone to, had he wanted to put up a realistic choice for VP - Senator Hutchinson of Texas, Senator Dole of North Carolina, Senators Snowe and Collins of Maine. That list could go on, these woman would be well-qualified for the VP spot.

McCain/Token '08 is step back for women like me, who want to support our sisters but won't support someone solely because she is a woman.

For more information on the policy reasons to oppose McCain/Palin, click here.